The Lipstick Conundrum

A couple of years ago I met up with some of my old girlfriends for dinner. I hadn’t seen them in ages and wanted to look my best. It was the middle of winter and as my skin is naturally pale and hadn’t seen anything resembling sunshine in months, I reached for the fake tan. I swear by St.Tropez. If you apply it wearing gloves and have exfoliated etc beforehand, it can give you a very natural looking tan, which usually boosts my confidence.

But …later on that evening, after a few glasses of wine, one of the girls took a photo of the group. When we looked at the photo somebody commented “Helen looks SO brown!” I looked at the photo and yes, I did look very brown, no, orange! My eyebrows were even darkened by the stuff. I looked like an oompa loompa!

I think the problem was this – I had put on the tan on the morning of the event and as such, while I thought I looked naturally sun kissed in a “I’ve just popped back from the South of France” kind of way, the tan had actually had time to develop throughout the day and by the time the photo was taken I was a little overdone. It was then that I vowed to only use the fake tan a night or even two nights before an event, allowing enough time to wash the stuff off and for it to look natural.

So, once I accepted my natural paleness, I decided to embrace it! I love a strong red lipstick on others, especially those, like Dita Von Teese with beautifully pale complexions. The result is so retro and glamorous. So I figured I may as well try vamping it up myself. I went to MAC to talk to one of their makeup artists since usually I’m actually a bit scared of lipstick and only ever shove on a little of their Politely Pink (seriously, that’s what it’s called). The very helpful lady picked out a fantastic matt colour called “Ruby Woo”. Woah! Very red! We put it on and I was all lips! I liked it though.

Feeling slightly self conscious I wandered out the store, towards Pret a Manger. It was lunchtime. But, after tucking into my sandwich I nipped to the loo. There was lipstick on my chin and a weird patchy bit in the middle of my lips where most of the lipstick had been removed. It was hideous! No wonder I had some funny looks when leaving Pret.

There is obviously much to be learned about the fine art of wearing lipstick. If I go for gloss it will always, I mean always, be a windy day and I end up with my hair stuck to my lips and with bright lipstick you clearly can’t eat anything (is this why French women are so thin?)

What do you think? Any tips?

 

 

 

 

Brogue Lovin!

brogue lovin!

When I try on a dress in a store I always go up on my tippy toes to imagine what it would look like with heels. My husband always makes fun of me for this but I can’t help it, it’s instinct! Heels are flattering and give confidence – especially if, like myself, you are only 5 foot 2.

But, let’s face it, they’re not the most comfortable thing to wear and I only tend to wear them if I’m going on a night out or to an important meeting etc. If I know I’m going to have to walk any kind of distance or will have to be on my feet for a long time, it’s always flats for me and my flats of choice recently seem to be my brogues. I love the look of masculine wear on a woman and, unlike ballet pumps, you can get away with wearing socks with them, which is great for winter.

What’s your flat of choice? Or do you grin and bear it in six inch heels?

xx

The iPhone Addict

When the iPhone first came out, our friend Q*, who is madly into his gadgets, was the first person I knew to have one. We’d go to the cinema and while we were waiting on the film to start, he’d sit there checking the football scores while the rest of us gabbed about our week…… I put it down to novelty.

 

Then, a little while later, Chris (my husband) got an iPhone. He works for himself so it’s really useful for him in terms of checking his diary and keeping up with emails and phone calls while out and about. But then he grew slightly obsessed (and annoying), laying in bed at night looking at his phone and watching youtube videos while I was trying to sleep …. “seriously, I am going to throw that phone out of the bloody window!!”

 

But then, once I started out as an illustrator, I could also see how useful it would be to have an iPhone. I was chatting with my sister in law about it and she very casually offered to give (yes, give!) me her iPhone when she upgraded to the newest model. Wow, so generous – I was thrilled! and yes, I too am now slightly obsessed. First thing in the morning and last thing at night, what do I do? you’ve guessed it! Etsy, Pinterest, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter …. not to mention email, the occasional ( or not so occasional) online mooch in my favourite store.

 

The result of all this is RSI in my right thumb (seriously!). I’m sure it’s not good for my brain either as I find I can’t sleep if I check my phone too late at night and I definitely didn’t feel like I missed anything when I only looked at my phone every couple of days to see if I had any calls when we were on holiday in Italy this summer. If anything, not using my phone helped me to de-stress a lot quicker.

 

It has to stop!

 

Anyone else got a similar addiction? Or at least some advice on how to use an iPhone in moderation? Please!

 

*Obviously not his real name. I went to see Skyfall last night and it seemed a suitably techie name. I’m not feeling very inventive today…. great film though.

 

 

 

Tis the Season to go Shopping!

I recently had a conversation with a very good friend of mine who absolutely adores Christmas (let’s call her Lady P). Seriously, she is the person who gets excited in October when they start to put Christmas decorations out in department stores, or when the temperature drops ever so slightly  …. “you know what this means, we’re coming up to the festive season!” Great!

No, but really, I also enjoy the holiday season. It’s something cheerful to look forward to in the depths of winter and it’s always lovely to have a break and get together with loved ones. I’m very lucky!

But when my Christmas loving friend and I were trying to arrange to meet up soon she excitedly suggested the idea of going Christmas shopping together.

In Central London? Really?! I couldn’t think of anything worse! I’m all for festivities but seriously I would end up having a panic attack surrounded by that many people, not to mention all the stress of having to fight my way around the stores. We arranged to meet up for some mulled wine and mince pies instead but Lady P was truly gobsmacked when I told her that I do most of my Christmas shopping online. She’s younger than me and yet she still said that she was wary of shopping online. I couldn’t believe it. I thought everyone shopped online these days. I mean I can see the benefit of seeing some things in person – like clothes for example, nothing beats being able to feel a fabric or being able to try something on to see how it fits. But with most other things, or even if you are certain of your size in a certain label, I always think it’s easier to just buy online. You can quickly compare prices in order to get the best deal and you don’t even have to leave the house.

Am I on my own here? Any tips for shopping at this time of year? I’d love to hear what you think xx

 

Chanel No 5 and that Brad Ad!

In the lead up to Christmas we were hit with the inevitable barrage of perfume adverts during our favourite programs. Seems reasonable, given that perfume is a “relatively” inexpensive gift. I’m sure the festive season helps many fashion houses’ profits tremendously in this respect and Chanel No.5 is one of my favourite perfumes of all time. Classic, classy and elegant. Like a Chanel suit, it will never go out of style, but unlike a Chanel suit, most people can afford the perfume, even if it is a bit of a treat.

I also (usually) love Chanel’s perfume adverts. In the past they usually have a narrative of some kind and a romance! They just seem so…..well, so French! One of my faves of the past was the previous no 5 ad featuring Audrey Tatou searching for her mystery love, with Billie Holiday’s melodic tones in the background. Like I said, French, romantic and with a narrative. Perfect.

But then the first time I saw the new No.5 advert, the one in which Brad Pitt is shot in black and white and recites a monologue directly to the camera, well, I wasn’t sure what to think?

I like Brad Pitt a lot. He’s a brilliant actor and if you think about it, I guess it was really quite innovative of Chanel to choose a man as the face of a woman’s perfume. It’s never been done before. But I think it’s the fact that there’s no real narrative and a lot of the romance and ALL of the Frenchness has gone. Maybe all the budget went on Brad’s fee (dare I say it?!), or perhaps, more likely, the director felt Brad’s monologue would have more impact if it was stripped back and direct to camera?

Perhaps I just don’t like change?!

What do you think about it?

 

 

 

Lily Collins

Helen Simms Illustration Lily Collins

Lily Collins (the young actress in “Mirror Mirror” and Phil Collins’s daughter – for those of you who don’t know) is so beautiful! She has THE best eyebrows and reminds me of Audrey Hepburn!

 

Sienna Miller

Sienna Miller

Edie Sedgwick

Helen Simms edie sedgwick

Helen Simms edie sedgwick

Ah .. to pull off a headband!

Fashion Illustration by Helen Simms